Ok, fine. I accept the blog name. Jonathon had some doozies before this one...all of course related to victory, challenge...WINNING. Love that guy. I tried to tell him that this blog couldn't just be about cancer and beating it. His good ol' Ralph genes kicked in and he sold me on it with an interesting twist appealing to all kinds of thoughts I've had about all of this (looove his first post, hate it when he's right!). Jonathon and I are different in so many ways, but often those differences compliment each other in times that we need them to 

This post is super boring cancer stuff. It's exactly the kind of post I never want to post again. So much to catch my peeps up on. So...for those of you interested in how in the hell we got here (and yes, look at the dates, it has been pretty darn fast that our world has been shaken up!), here you go! I'm skipping lots of the details bc it's so overwhelming how much has happened so fast. I will work to update often and post as new things come up and no, I'm not correcting my grammar and punctuation. I have cancer. There really are more important things to do (like watch Housewives of Miami on Bravo):

1.  Monday, 10/14...swinging the kettle bell around and noticed a lump in my right booby (Jonathon confirmed for me that I was not being obsessive compulsive and there actually was quite a sizable lump there)

2. Tuesday, 10/15...got into Ob-Gyn to verify that there was a lump. She said it was mobile and had no reason to believe that it was anything more than a typical cyst or growth that many women my age get, but sent me in to have an ultrasound to put my mind at ease (p.s. in case you didn't know, it's freaking breast awareness month and absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to get in for a mammogram. Even with symptoms of BREAST CANCER I was scheduled out a month!) Ob-Gyn got me admitted into the hospital the next day by pulling some strings

3. Thursday, 10/17 (p.s. my 32nd bday!)...went into the hospital women's radiology department to get an ultrasound. After an awful mammogram experience (these really do suck pretty bad and although proven not the best screening tool for women under 40, necessary for insurance billing purposes. blech), I was seen by a radiologist who confirmed by ultrasound that I had a mass on the larger size, it was solid and had some other characteristics that warranted a biopsy and most likely a lumpectomy. Of course, now I'm really freaking out.

4. Friday, 10/18...next day got into a surgeon who told me based on the radiologist reports, his own ultrasound and just pure statistics, the lump was in no way shape or form cancer. That I should just schedule a lumpectomy and be done with it. No stress! I'm young, I'm healthy, no one in my immediate family has had breast cancer...the list of reasons why I shouldn't have cancer really goes on and on. I requested to go ahead and have the biopsy anyway. Was told to enjoy my weekend, this was nothing, don't worry. Should hear back from results next Tuesday and to call if I didn't hear from him on Weds.

5. Austin's bday party weekend. Lots of fun with some of our closest family and friends. It really was a great weekend. Even though I was sore from the biopsy and had a weird cloud looming over my head that I might have cancer, I'm glad that I didn't know that weekend what I know now. 

6. Tuesday, 10/22...no call from surgeon. I'm dying for some info.

7. Weds, 10/23...get a call from my surgeon. I need to come in now, it's cancer. In this moment, my world literally stopped, I wanted to hide with my baby somewhere that 'it' couldn't find me. I knew that this was not one of those things that I often try and brush under the rug and forget about. I was going to have to move, but I literally couldn't move fast enough. Jonathon met me and Austin at the surgeon's office. We went over the test results and surgery options. So here's some of the tumor info for you detail oriented people in my own terms:
-3.5 cm
-triple negative receptors (basically, from what I understand, this basically limits some of the available treatments available for me)
-invasive (sounds scary!)
-necrosis (parts of it have lost blood supply and dying)
-differentiated big time and growing quickly (it's waay different from my typical cells)
-stage 2 until further assessment

so, that's some of what we know. what we don't know is if it's spread into my lymph nodes or anywhere else. that has to be assessed surgically.

ugh. I'm sure there's more, this is just what sticks out in my head without grabbing the huge file and reports and paperwork that really all just gets my panties in a wad. none of it sounds awesome. that's for sure. I hate even going over the details of the tumor because it just sounds awful!

after discussing surgical options with him, I was pretty sure that my choice was going to be a right breast mastectomy (in my own easy to understand words, the lump is big and my boob is small, so even if the surgeon tried to save some tissue, it would be way scarier looking than just removing everything)...and the plus side to this too for those of you who know what a worrier I am, it reduces my risks of cancer in this booby again to almost 0. I will also have a lymph node assessment done and a port for chemo put in on my left side during this procedure. No reconstruction at this time. Just seemed like an extra step, longer healing, not the nicest thing to do to my body that knows how to heal itself (with a little or a lot of medical intervention). Just want to recover from the surgery quickly and be ready for whatever cancer treatment I need to take as aggressively as possible (remember all those reasons I shouldn't have cancer, they also make me a good candidate to be able to handle lots of cancer drugs too).

8. Thursday, 10/24...first meeting with oncologist. Before heading to this appointment, I summoned a panel of my people. After reviewing my test results and questions at my house with my crew, I brought my experts: best friend Brenda (mom's breast cancer survivor/she's also a dr who sees boobs a lot), sister (bestie and can bring out her fiesty side if needed), my mom (she's smart and always knows what I need), and Jonathon (I'm not sure why he came along, other than he wanted to stop and get a milkshake on the way. haha. joking...) to the cancer treatment center. We obviously went on old people who like to do puzzle day, not young mom's who have breast cancer day. My mom was half the age of everyone in the waiting room. Short hand notes from a long drill session with my new oncologist: we reviewed my tumor biopsy results, he assured me that my cancer's not going to spread if I get the hiccups, and there's basically still a lot up in the air for what my cancer treatment is going to look like! Will need to wait for lymph node assessment results and he also recommended testing for breast cancer genes. I really liked him, felt comfortable, I think we are going to have some pretty good posts about Dr. Jim. He's a character. I originally thought I would shop around, get a 2nd opinion...but I decided that this guy knows what he's doing and I trust him. He seemed relieved that I was set on my decision to have a mastectomy. Probably was dreading having to tell me that my booby is too small to conserve :)

9. Friday, 10/25...met with my therapist for some relaxation/stress management tips (yes, I actually had a therapist before cancer...stayathomemom problems! haha), then off to hospital again for another dreaded mammogram on my left side to make sure it was clear of any masses, and then finally back to the oncologist with Chanel for bloodwork and genetic counseling. Really, nothing much to report here except what I think J would consider a big WIN (left booby is free and clear of any masses). This was apparently a huge relief to everyone around me when honestly, it wasn't even on my radar as a concern that I should have. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss :) I am having breast cancer gene tests run, but will not be waiting for the results before going into surgery. If it comes back positive, I can make the decision of what to do with my lefty at a later time. It's not an immediate concern. I know that I need to have the simplest surgery and heal the quickest to be healthy and ready for my cancer treatment.

My right booby mastectomy surgery, lymph node assessment and port will are to all be included in surgery currently scheduled next week Tuesday, 11/5. This is tentative, as the oncologist may try and get it bumped up sooner, but for now, I am thankful for a bit of time to tie up some loose ends!

And here we are now! Bottom line, I have breast cancer, I'm going to have surgery, cancer treatment, and I'm going to be okay :)

I have lots of really important funny things to share in future posts. No more boring long catch up on cancer posts!