She's hitched!

The prettiest bride in the whole world!

I still am in shock sometimes when I think about me and my friends being old enough to have real life jobs that are meaningful and important, get married, have kids. It doesn't quite seem possible that we are in our 30's. My bestie from growing up got married this weekend. It was sooo fun! And the perfect distraction and celebration to have the weekend before heading back into chemo treatment. I can't believe I was too busy to take hardly any pictures. I obviously was taking my bridesmaid duties seriously!

I got a haircut for the big day. haha. Can you believe it's about to fall out again from the A/C??! I wonder how much more gray it will come back this time...

J and I were in charge of pickup and delivery of linens before rehearsal night. And there were a lot of linens folks. And it was hot. J had to take over most of this duty because I was afraid my eyebrows would drip off!!

The only pic I have for now of my bridesmaids' dress. It's so weird to find things that fit because not only do I only have one boob, I also have a gaping hole in my armpit from the lymph nodes removed. Ugh. They don't make prosthetics for that! P.S. Aren't my friends the cutest!! So fun to catch up with everyone. 

And last, but not least, my favorite MOB and I wrapping up last minute cleanup drinking straight from the bottle while sitting on a tailgate :)

Congrats April and Shelley!

Love
Jenn

Seriously, from the bald girl with one boob?!

Yup, I force health advice on people. All the time. Unsolicited. I'm sure people look at me like, 'seriously, you Jenn, the picture of health over there? You are bald with no eyebrows and one boob. What could you possibly have to offer me?' Haha.  I don't care. If there is anything I can do to help people that I love (and even my worse enemies) never have to go through some of the things my family has gone through, I will shout it topless and hairl-less from a freaking roof top. That's a scary image to think about. Lord, I think the steroids are really kicking in right now :)

I don't share too much about how badly chemo sucks with you all. My friends and family from far away read our blog with bated breath checking in on me making sure I'm ok...me saying 'a little nauseated, kind of fatigued, not sleeping all that great...' that's about as down as I want to be. I'm only going to tell you in this post, one time...chemo sucks really really bad. And going back to one of the most toxic drugs out there, A/C, was a big reminder to me of that. For those of you mommies out there, it was like childbirth for me, all you remember is holding a precious baby, not too much about the birth. Instinctually, our brains do that stuff so we will have another, or at least not hold a little grudge against those cute little boogers for the year of bloated pregnancies and hours of hard labor. heehee. I told myself I can do this A/C thing, I did it before, it wasn't that bad. I was wrong. It is awful. And the second the chemo nurse started pushing the A into my port this morning, I remembered how bad it was. I wanted to get up unplug myself and run away. It all came back to me. My body was telling me to get the heck out of Dodge. I just kept telling myself I can do it. Praying 'Do not be terrified...' Just gotta make it through one more round. I will be okay.

Sooo...that's enough about sucky chemo. It's really more productive to focus on the blessings and the things I'm grateful for, but in continuing with discussion of my habit of giving health advice, I needed to give you a little taste (or loss of taste or medicine taste like I get) of a piece of my journey over this last 6 months that's not all bubblegum and rainbows and cute pics of our kid.

So, not only do I not ever want all of you who I love so much to ever ever ever have to go through anything like this. There's also a little bit of selfishness in it too. The treatment decisions that my family has made for me have always been with consideration of the big picture...best long term prognosis (be here to bombard you with pics of our kid for a long long time)...but with all of the curve balls we have been tossed, the truth is, we have had to focus on more immediate concerns (get my hiney cancer free RIGHT NOW!). We are WINNING THE DAY over here. And that is where we started :)

We made a decision to continue on with a medication that may shave a few years off my life because of the side effects it can have, maybe won't affect me at all. It was a risk we are willing to take to win the day. With that said, I am probably going to be thinking about this decision for the rest of my life on top of the possibility that cancer can pop back up along my path, this is our reality. Even when I wrap up with my current treatment plan, this will always and forever be a part of our lives. I will be sharing my 2 cents with you on health and wellness topics because I need every dang one of you to be the best and most healthy you that you can possibly be. It will take every single one of you amazing people to create the phenomenal mom that I am in the event that I need a fill in for my incredible little guy Austin. haha. kidding, kind of kidding, okay maybe not kidding at all!!  (a wife for J will be easier shoes to fill! haha. and now that he has dishes and laundry down...I'm really working myself out of a job here and he's becoming more and more desirable!!!)

Do I think I'm going to be croaking anytime soon? absolutely not. I visualize myself taking Austin to kindergarten (and staying outside his classroom doors until he graduates high school!) all the darn time. haha. I even joked with Jonathon that I might not have time to go back to work outside of the home when Austin goes to college because he might need an on call designated driver and definitely someone to make grain free cookies for him and his friends!! Poor kid has no chance of getting rid of me. But, having a constant reminder that our time here on earth is limited (for all of you folks too!), when I get through these 2 rounds of A/C and then radiation, I'm really not going to have the time that you all have put in with me to take care of you half as well as you have done...sorry to be rude, but there are a lot of really fun things out there that I would rather be doing. I'm tired of this sucky cancer business and research shows that there are A LOT of simple things that we can do to decrease the risks of this happening to you.

I'm going to focus on a few easy things for now:
-Drink less alcohol
-Lose weight
-Get more active
-Eat real food

I think this is a pretty good start. I'm not posting details on studies that have been published. It's all googleable :) I won't go into the ones on toxicity of deoderant and effects of bras for now! Then I'll really lose ya!

Just pick one, make a goal and do the dang thing. These things are way easier than fighting cancer. I promise. And you'll feel amazing.

I love you all sooo much. Praying that you are along side me for a long long time getting into a lot of fun and maybe a little bit of trouble WINNING THE DANG DAY!

Jenn

Still behind...still thankful :)

Had our visit to the out of town breast cancer specialist center and you'll never guess what the verdict of 10 of the most sought after brains in breast cancer research and treatment decided on for me as the next step in my treatment plan...dun dun dun...MORE A/C!!! Yes, the first chemo drug I started with back in November. I know what you're thinking...'but wait Jenn, you told me that was toxic for hearts. You've had your lifetime dose.' Yes, that's true. But remember all of those reasons that I shouldn't have breast cancer...young, healthy, no other health problems...they think I can handle it and they think it's the best option out there for me (p.s. the oncologist I consulted with reminded me many times that there is no standard of care for me, there's no study to cite, not even another woman she knows of that is exactly like me to compare to).

So, there are some other things up in the air regarding trials at the out of town center that sound really cool and exciting, but there are more tests that must be run to see if I qualify to participate. Not only might it be awesome for me, but it might benefit other people if I can get into the trial. Again, there are few people like me, so that panel of 10 experts over there at the breast specialist center were VERY excited that I made the trip down to visit them and will be VERY excited if I can participate in this trial. Will keep you posted on how that unfolds for us.

2 more rounds of A/C is what I'm starting. And I'm starting it today. We will be riding the chemo train for another month. Probably feeling worn out, and a few other annoying side effect to deal with, but I was relieved that this was the decision. Since I've had some pretty scary reactions to chemo meds, I am terrified to try new drugs. I have done this one before, I can do it. We will also have to go back to lock down at the house. Back to limiting my time out of the house and having people over to visit.

I have lots of fun things to post from this weekend, but I'll save it from when I'm up on a steroid high eating at 3 am tomorrow morning.

Love
Jenn

Thankful

I am months behind on thank you notes...please know that we are so appreciative of all that you have done, are doing, and continue to do for our family!! And I hope you find comfort in knowing that instead of sitting down and putting pen to paper to show my gratitude in a formal way, I am doing exactly what you all have asked me to do...relaxing and enjoying every single dang moment I can when I can :)

We have been...

Practicing our karaoke rendition of Elton John.

And being present to document those hilarious moments that only a growing 2 year old boy's vocab can provide.

Oh, and I almost forgot...sipping pink bubbly in a can from a straw while our kid plays at the playground. haha. Okay, if we have time for this, maybe we should get to getting on those thank you notes!!

Be THANKFUL for your day.
Love
Jenn

Chemo...the gift that keeps on giving...

We had a stomach bug go through the house this week. Dang it! Not on my vacay!!!

Of course, everyone else just barfed once or twice and felt icky for a day, but me, I was out for the count. Had to go into the doctor for labs and hydration treatments, viral treatments, bacterial infection treatments, blah, blah, ick. Even Tylenol wasn't bringing down my fever. I was once again reminded that I am not a 'normal' person with a bug. My system is compromised and little things can go south for me very quickly if we don't act fast. There was talk amongst the doctors and nurses of admitting me into the hospital, but thank goodness that was squashed...by my labs! Yay! Besides me not having any recent chemo treatments to knock my red and white blood counts down, nutritionally, I am on top of my game with lots of good eats that keep the micronutrients in my system up and at 'em.

So, today, I'm finally feeling better. IV fluids are one perk of having a port for chemo and an infusion room right at my fingertips :) It was kind of nice to see all of my chemo lounge nurse friends, but again a reminder that this cancer business is no joke. One nurse I have not met before came to check on me and wanted to know what treatment they decided on for my 'very rare case.' Blech. That's not what you want to hear about your case in a freaking cancer treatment center. They have all been keeping up with how things are going for us...I know it all comes from a good place...even if some of the words people use hit you like a punch in the gut.

P.S. I will be visiting the breast cancer center next week and meeting the new breast cancer specialist Dr. Jim referred me. Will keep you posted on that later...

I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day because we have a visit from the Easter Bunny early in the morning that I refuse to miss. Austin practiced finding eggs at school this week and now understands that eggs=treats. Special treats that he's never had before like peanut butter cups and M&Ms. Haha. He told me 'Mom, you don't like M&Ms? M&Ms are a special treat. M&Ms are YUMMY!! You like them!'

Happy Easter!
WIN the day.
Love
Jenn

Do you ever get the feeling someone's following you....???

It might be Papa Payday...haha...I could put an album together of pictures of Papa and his camera out following Austin (and I even have several pictures of him taking pictures of other people taking pictures of Austin). Heehee. It's been pretty entertaining watching this guy do a 180 since becoming a grandparent.

I am feeling really well with surgery recovery. Still having a tough time adjusting to how in the heck I'm going to sleep with half of my body feeling so weird, but other than sleep...feeling pretty darn good! I have been very very busy and enjoying every dang minute.

Austin and I joined my girls (Mom, Aunt Stinky and Aunt Boog) at the Paleo FX conference in town this year...lots and lots and lots of yummy samples...we love our snacks! We hit the coconut oil jackpot with some awesome potato chips. Austin wouldn't stop grabbing the sample cups off the Jackson's Honest table (at least he's cute, right?!).

Totally stalked my favorite Paleo author, Diane SanFilippo so I could send a pic to Jonathon while he was out of town in L.A. Balanced Bites is one of my fav books and Jonathon completed the 21 Day Sugar Detox (yes, he survived 3 weeks without ice cream or beer). Austin however, was not as impressed and skeptical that she was going to steal his potato chips.

 

 

Tried to unsuccessfully sneakily catch a pic of Mom's paleo crush, Mark Sisson (p.s. he's the 65 year old guy behind me, not the hotter paleo guy behind Austin). haha. A bald lady and a kid screaming that he wants a cupcake are not well equipped for sneaking around anywhere...especially a paleo conference.

In my opinion, this paleo lifestyle has got Granny Annie looking much less 'granny' these days!! ha!

SOOOO EXCITED...I finally got to get my hands on my one of my very very best (and definitely smartest) friends Seemay!!! YAY!!! She has made attempts to visit me twice now from far away Seattle and we have not been able to see each other in person because either she or I was too sick. Yeah, we seriously facetimed each other in the same city after she traveled across the country to see me a couple of months ago because I was neutropenic and she was running a fever. Boo. 

I was so proud of her and Auntie Maaya for not only just finishing, but kicking the Austin 10/20's butt. I ran in to a few breast cancer survivors running the 10 miles (they were running, I was on a curb cheering with my bald head obviously noticeable shining) and I could really see myself getting out there (maybe not to run 10 miles, but out there doing something exciting) very very very soon. Woohoo. 

Are you jealous of those BEEF shirts???!

There's soooo much more that I've gotten myself into this week, but lastly, a little visit to the Easter Bunny. haha. Austin was so excited to get a sucker when he was done, but this bunny only gave colored pencils. He was not happy about that at all. 

Last but not least, had my checkup with Dr. Jim, my oncologist...

1. No final date on my visit to the out of town breast cancer center, but I will be visiting there sometime in the next 2 weeks before my next appointment with Dr. Jim

2. He was really happy and impressed with my recovery. He couldn't believe I'm driving and carrying around my 30 lb toddler and just living my life 3 short weeks post-op. I'm not going to lie, I made him examine Righty. haha. Just kidding, he was going to examine her anyway, but it was weird to have a breast examination without a breast.

3. We reviewed my pathology reports and the cancer in my breast was triple negative. That's the bottom line. There are greater details on this, but in the end, I am a patient with Stage IIB triple negative breast cancer that was resistant to AC/T treatment...I am going to receive additional post-surgical chemotherapy treatment and radiation...and I have no idea exactly what that chemo treatment is going to be or for how long I'll be in it to win it...

Geezo. This is the short and edited version of what I've been up to this week and I'm tired just shortening it and editing it :) Time for a WIN THE DAY nap.

WIN THE DAY! 

Love

Jenn

Just livin!

No news as far as next step in cancer treatment plan...surgery recovery is going well. Been kind of worn out, still not sleeping super great, but probably just been enjoying life with our little guy a little too much to the max...had a fun week with lots of friends to play with, places to visit and snacks to enjoy :) We LOVE our city (and our snacks). haha. And if you look really closely, you'll see a surprise guest appearance from good ol' Papa Payday.

Papa got us a membership to the Thinkery, our new children's museum...soooo fun!!

Sesame Street Live was a hit...especially the snack selection :)

You can find us outside playing all over town any chance we can get.

Of course, Austin takes advantage of any opportunity for a snack break.

Love your day!!
Jenn