Serious business

Austin's been joining Jonathon every morning at work during my daily radiation treatments...

I think on this morning's agenda is a very serious World Cup watching party at Uncle Robert's. It's tough for a business man out here.

12 down...16 to go!

12/28 daily radiation treatments in the books...been a long time since posting last. Mostly because...I. Am. Tired. haha. But, really. I am tired. Coming right out of surgery, more chemo, hospital stay, more chemo...then straight into radiation treatment. Taking quite the toll on my body.

I'm regaining strength each day and handling radiation treatment with few things to note. A slice of my esophagus is getting treated because it's in the field which is causing my voice to sound kind of weird and also a strange sticky feeling in my throat. This will get better a bit out of treatment. It took us a couple of treatments to realize that the rash I was having was from the laundry detergent used to clean the towels at the treatment center, not a radiation rxn (thank God I'm not allergic to radiation...holy cow...yes, that is a possibility!!). So now on top of my job of getting to the treatment center everyday, I also am in charge of cleaning my own towels at home. Geez. I really can't get a break! haha.

Some other things we've been up to...

Lots of perfect and adorable babies!! I've told you before that if you have one, you better just get ready for me to sneak away to a corner with him until he poops or cries...then he's all yours!

Jonathon and Austin took their first away trip together without mom to visit Jonathon's adorable niece and nephews plus a special visit from his buddy Connor...they had a blast and all came back in one piece!

I am currently obsessed with pictures of Austin in his little underwear. Took a few days at home, a lot of suckers and a bag of m&ms and we are full fledged big boy around here. Thinking about it, maybe I should add potty training week to my list of reasons why I. Am. Tired.

School's out for summer and so is Auntie Boog...been getting lots of time in with my fav 11 year old. She's the BEST.

Last quick update...

I took a quick trip to the specialized breast cancer treatment center last week to complete some blood screening for possibly participating in a clinical vaccine trial (and of course, to get another professional booby feeler or 2 to get their hands on lefty and what's left of righty!). Got my screening results back today and I do not qualify for any of the trials that are going on right now. I told my mom that I felt like a failed a test. Like I was in trouble or did something wrong. I have some more to share later on what this means for my future treatment path...going to have a visit with good old Dr. Jim soon and will keep you posted!

Win the Day!
Jenn

Happy Father's Day!

This is one of my very fav pictures that kind of sums up a complete 180 life takes when you become a daddy...and also what the guy deserves for ordering a salad at a steak restaurant. Who does that?? Can you believe I caught the moment mid-barf on the head? haha. awesome.

Thanks Dad for all you do for us. We have a really fantastic life and don't take for granted all of the things that you do to provide us so many things we are thankful for each and every dang day.

Love
Jenn

It's just fat!

Finally!! I finally statistically fell into the slice of the pie I should statistically fall into!! The biopsy came back fat tissue. No cancer cells. Will fill you in more later. For now, thank you God!!!! Never been so happy for someone to talk to me about my fat :)

Busy busy busy!

A very important piece missing...

I went back to read the last post and realized that a very important piece of info was deleted...and of course, I told you when we started this whole thing, I'm not one for grammar and editing or proof-reading! Oops.

When Dr. Bob used the ultrasound to get an image of the mass...nothing there...poor guy. I totally derailed the operation convinced that I could do a better job. Told him to press harder (then he showed me that we were looking at my bone). Haha. Made him try different angles. Asked if we should do an MRI just in case. He could feel the mass, but when we looked at the ultrasound, there was no different looking tissue within the fat layer of the breast tissue. Awesome. That means that most likely this mass is a hard fat deposit (lobulated fat) which are rarely of any concern.

Doesn't that make you feel better?! Well, I still needed Valium, but it was really good news.

Again, will keep you posted!

Maybe I should start spending a little time re-reading my rants...or cutting back on the sedatives while blogging :)
Love
Jenn

Can I pleeeeaaase get a dang break?!

When crazy random things pop up and they don't sound awesome, my gut tells me to hide them. Don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to worry. I've learned through my journey thus far, that it doesn't make others or me feel any better to keep things to myself. I don't have to do this by myself. And more than that, when I keep things to myself, it makes me feel worse like something is really really wrong and awful. I've found myself the happiest medium I can to working on this...find something of concern, ask as many questions and I can and get as much helpful information as I can, and then tell people. It will be okay. They want to know and I can't do it all by myself (most of the time!).

So I'm going to start this with
NO ONE FREAK OUT
please.

I've told you many times before...I'M GOING TO BE OKAY.

I am sharing this part of my journey with you honestly, because I believe in the power of prayer or what many of you call 'good vibes.' Also because I have come to find out that although most of you reading our blog know us well and come here to keep up with us, there are also many out there who I don't know who either have gone through, are going through or know someone who's going through some of the same dang stuff. It's been a little surreal to look at our blog stats and see hundreds of people from around the whole darn world are reading about little old us and our daily life. I'm thankful for each and every one of you (whether I know you or not) and any dang GOOD VIBES you have been sending our way :)

Here we go...

A couple of days ago, I found a lump. Another dang lump. This time it's lefty. I started having a sore feeling and then started feeling around and there it was. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. I'm not going to lie. I was on the floor crying and, no joke, begging for it to not be true. Those are the kinds of things I don't really want people to hear about. But that's the truth. I'm laying it out there for you. I was hands and knees begging God to please let me be okay. Lots of other prayers, but finally, to let go and trust in Him. Whew! This letting go of control thing is a real pain in my ass.

Happenings from there on out:

1.  Called Dr. Jim and let him know what was going on...he of course, took my concern seriously and got me in to see my surgeon right away.
2. Radiation treatment postponed until we figure out what in the heck is going on with this dang lump
3. Visited my surgeon today and had the lump biopsied. Now here is where I can really share some funny crazy lady control freak stories, but I will just give you a few tidbits
 and most often harmless
-Dr. Bob suggested keeping an eye on it. I told him I wanted him to cut my boob off now. We met in the middle with a biopsy of the mass
-Dr. Bob wanted to go with a fine needle aspiration. I again suggested cutting off my boob right now. We met in the middle with several larger core needle biopsies. Another piece of good news...when he started poking around with the needle, the mass seemed to be getting smaller, which also indicates it's a fat deposit and broke up a bit with the needle. PS. This is also where Jonathon made a surprise pop in to the office (I wasn't expecting him to be there) and both the Dr. and I were a little scared that he might pass out. Just the sound of a core needle biopsy is a little frightening. haha. He was nervous pacing and woozy looking. He's such a wimp. I was the one with a 4 inch needle digging around and shooting into my booby!
-Dr. Bob is pretty darn sure that this is nothing to worry about. I told him I'm going to have a heart attack until I get the benign results back. He offered me valium :)

So...I found a lump. It's scary. BUT everything points to this is nothing to be concerned about. We will be winning the dang day over here by popping valium and not having a heart attack! haha. Kidding. This is a part of the rocky road that will honestly be one of the challenges I face for the rest of my life. I'm not going to be getting any results back from the biopsy until mid-week next week. I will keep you posted and let you know any info I get as soon as I get it. Promise.

Okay, now, back to thinking about celebrating. Don't forget to send me your dang email right now. However this comes back and no matter how things end up, Labor Day weekend 2014, I am having a party. And I want you to be there.
jennkinchen2013@gmail.com


Love
Jenn
 

SAVE THE DATE

We are in the midst of planning a kick ass WIN THE DAY party for all of you (yes, YOU...okay, maybe for me too!!) AND your families to come to our amazing city of Austin and CELEBRATE with us...I will be emailing a save the date out soon and requesting that you reply back if you think you might be able to make it...this is not a definite RSVP (I won't need that until the end of July). We just honestly have no clue how many people to plan for and this will help us to get an idea of how many more horse races Jonathon needs to win in the next couple of months to foot the bbq, bar, and bouncy house rental tab :)

Labor Day weekend 8/31 4-8 pm

I also have another favor to ask of you.. please send me an email (don't even need a subject or note in the field). Just a blank email so that we can make sure we have everyone on the save the date and invite list? Pretty pretty please? 

Jennkinchen2013@gmail.com

Do it now, or you'll forget...and put it on your calendar now because I would love nothing more than to squeeze each and every stinking one of you I can get my non-neutropenic hands on...woohoo!

Yay!!  
Love
Jenn

Where in the heck have we been?

This last round of chemo treatment hit me pretty darn hard. Again, soooo thankful that this was my last and final round!! My counts were knocked down which left me vulnerable again to infection and anemic with low energy, but slowly and surely I'm regaining strength and energy :)

Some updates on treatment plans...
1. Had my CT simulation scan last week to prep my radiation markings and positioning for treatment. I have red bullseye marks all over my abdomen. Pretty funny looking.
2. Have my CT scan practice round tomorrow to make sure all of the markings are positioned correctly and we are good to go for my 28 round radiation treatment
3. If all systems are 'a go' tomorrow, I will start my 28 treatments Thursday...every M-F for 28 days...eek! Sounds exhausting! Hopefully radiation treatments will be much less eventful for us. They are fatiguing as your body is broken down and rebuilding day after day, but it's only a local area, not systemic breakdown as chemo is, so the side effects should be less daunting. Most people slide by with feeling a bit tired and some skin irritation.
4. The last pathology results on the tumor removed from my breast came back very very slightly ER+. The results were really small and still makes the cancer I had considered triple negative (notice I said HAD...yes, I no longer HAVE cancer. I HAD cancer! yay!), but it is possible that I may benefit from a maintenance drug that people with ER+ breast cancer take called Tamoxifin...I will most likely be starting this drug following radiation for the next 10 years. Here's some info on hormone therapy for breast cancers. Yes folks, menopause. For the next 10 years. Beats cancer (I hope!!). haha.
5. Some other exciting news is that although the tumor came back Her-2 not amplified, the breast cancer center requested some additional more thorough testing that would tell us if the tumor had just a slight reception for that hormone...and it did! The very very most teeny tiny amount it could have, but there was still that teeny tiny bit. Yay! Why is this exciting? Because it is the first step in possibly getting me into an interesting vaccine trial. There are still more steps in qualifying for this trial, so I won't get into this too much, but here's a little info if you're interested. I will be taking another trip out to the breast cancer center to see the specialist and her team running the trial soon. Will keep you posted.

So lucky me...the risks of recurring cancer for people with triple negative cancer are highest in the first 5 years. The vaccine trial is in advanced stages and has hopeful results for many triple negative breast cancer patients with slight Her-2+ showings that this type of cancer has not had maintenance treatment for ever before. On the flip side, breast cancers that do show hormone receptive qualities (like ER+), are more likely to recur after a 5 year period. Tamoxifin has promising results in keeping these persons cancer free. I'm riding the line on both sides here and hopefully adding both of these to my maintenance regimen following radiation will help to keep this dang cancer at bay. Either way, the next phase of this journey is going to be working really dang hard to live my life without worrying too much about that and staying out of Dr. Jim's office too often making him cop a feel on lefty. haha.

Jonathon had some exciting news you can read about here and here...that guy really never ceases to amaze us with the random crazy happenings and people he gets himself involved with...he's headed to the Belmont race this weekend to hopefully witness his first Triple Crown winner! Still not sure how I feel about being compared to having the strength and courage of a thoroughbred, but apparently, there's a likeness there that Jonathon reflects on often. $10,000 doesn't hurt in helping me to consider the similarities either :)

WIN the DAY (Zenyatta style)
Love
Jenn