Can I pleeeeaaase get a dang break?!

When crazy random things pop up and they don't sound awesome, my gut tells me to hide them. Don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to worry. I've learned through my journey thus far, that it doesn't make others or me feel any better to keep things to myself. I don't have to do this by myself. And more than that, when I keep things to myself, it makes me feel worse like something is really really wrong and awful. I've found myself the happiest medium I can to working on this...find something of concern, ask as many questions and I can and get as much helpful information as I can, and then tell people. It will be okay. They want to know and I can't do it all by myself (most of the time!).

So I'm going to start this with
NO ONE FREAK OUT
please.

I've told you many times before...I'M GOING TO BE OKAY.

I am sharing this part of my journey with you honestly, because I believe in the power of prayer or what many of you call 'good vibes.' Also because I have come to find out that although most of you reading our blog know us well and come here to keep up with us, there are also many out there who I don't know who either have gone through, are going through or know someone who's going through some of the same dang stuff. It's been a little surreal to look at our blog stats and see hundreds of people from around the whole darn world are reading about little old us and our daily life. I'm thankful for each and every one of you (whether I know you or not) and any dang GOOD VIBES you have been sending our way :)

Here we go...

A couple of days ago, I found a lump. Another dang lump. This time it's lefty. I started having a sore feeling and then started feeling around and there it was. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. I'm not going to lie. I was on the floor crying and, no joke, begging for it to not be true. Those are the kinds of things I don't really want people to hear about. But that's the truth. I'm laying it out there for you. I was hands and knees begging God to please let me be okay. Lots of other prayers, but finally, to let go and trust in Him. Whew! This letting go of control thing is a real pain in my ass.

Happenings from there on out:

1.  Called Dr. Jim and let him know what was going on...he of course, took my concern seriously and got me in to see my surgeon right away.
2. Radiation treatment postponed until we figure out what in the heck is going on with this dang lump
3. Visited my surgeon today and had the lump biopsied. Now here is where I can really share some funny crazy lady control freak stories, but I will just give you a few tidbits
 and most often harmless
-Dr. Bob suggested keeping an eye on it. I told him I wanted him to cut my boob off now. We met in the middle with a biopsy of the mass
-Dr. Bob wanted to go with a fine needle aspiration. I again suggested cutting off my boob right now. We met in the middle with several larger core needle biopsies. Another piece of good news...when he started poking around with the needle, the mass seemed to be getting smaller, which also indicates it's a fat deposit and broke up a bit with the needle. PS. This is also where Jonathon made a surprise pop in to the office (I wasn't expecting him to be there) and both the Dr. and I were a little scared that he might pass out. Just the sound of a core needle biopsy is a little frightening. haha. He was nervous pacing and woozy looking. He's such a wimp. I was the one with a 4 inch needle digging around and shooting into my booby!
-Dr. Bob is pretty darn sure that this is nothing to worry about. I told him I'm going to have a heart attack until I get the benign results back. He offered me valium :)

So...I found a lump. It's scary. BUT everything points to this is nothing to be concerned about. We will be winning the dang day over here by popping valium and not having a heart attack! haha. Kidding. This is a part of the rocky road that will honestly be one of the challenges I face for the rest of my life. I'm not going to be getting any results back from the biopsy until mid-week next week. I will keep you posted and let you know any info I get as soon as I get it. Promise.

Okay, now, back to thinking about celebrating. Don't forget to send me your dang email right now. However this comes back and no matter how things end up, Labor Day weekend 2014, I am having a party. And I want you to be there.
jennkinchen2013@gmail.com


Love
Jenn