So many of you sweet people out there gave me some really nice shout outs about my hair and looking good and healthy in the pics from my last Vegas post...thanks so much...but I feel like I have to share with you what I really look like when I'm left to my own devices these days (especially with all of the rain we have had lately!).
HAHAHA. So true. My hair is soooo curly. And I never fix it. Nor do I wear makeup or anything outside of the yoga pants category. I feel much better throwing that out there. Just in case anyone runs into the actual real me (not my other personality. the craps table wild and crazy got my hair did at the salon Vegas Jenn). Although it is fun to get done up every once in a while and I'm kind of jealous of all of the cute girls I know who are always fixed up and wearing real clothes, it's definitely NOT reality for this lady over here.
I had another long heart to heart visit with Dr. Jim (my oncologist) today. I wasn't scheduled to see him for another month (which will be my 6 month post-treatment checkup), but I stalked him to get me in sooner and give me another Tamoxifen pep talk. And by stalking, I mean driving to the out of town clinic that he visits once a week to see him instead of the busy in-town spot that's so hard to get in. Yup, no shame in my oncologist stalking game. After talking with a few other professionals and researching my risks of recurrence v. the benefits of continuing on the medication, I just wasn't convinced that taking the daily medication was worth all of my menopausal hormonal drama. The energy, sleep and anxiety symptoms are unbelievably better since my visit with the functional doc I told yall about a few weeks ago, but I am still having irritability, mood swings and other hormonal issues that are just no fun. And (although I'm sure my sisters and husband would disagree), not my personality. Just don't feel like myself these days.
I had poor Dr. Jim drawing diagrams, googling things on the computer for me, and printing out study after study so I could take the stack home and do my own reading on the subject. Bottom line is...and it's one of those things that's not fun to hear, but you kind of need to hear and then you immediately wish away that you had never heard...I had a very aggressive breast cancer. The disease I had is statistically a high risk disease for recurrence (I'm not ready to write or say the number). Dr. Jim thought that I was there because I had signs of cancer. He rushed into my room. 'What's going on? Lumps? Headaches? Bone pain? Confusion?' No Dr. Jim, I'm just here to chat (and don't forget the obligatory breast exam!). haha. He was relieved that I was just there for an hour long teaching session. And yall know I will pay my doctors' visit copay to any professional willing to cop a feel. haha.
It's kind of complicated because the pathology of the cancer we found in my body initially was triple negative (breast), slightly PR+ (lymph nodes), then the final pathology of my breast tissue was ER+ (2-4%) and PR+ (2-3%)...and a even a little Her-2+ (although so slight that it's still considered negative for that protein receptor). This type of cancers is not typically responsive to chemo...hence, the Taxol/Abraxane resistance. Confusing, right? Imagine poor Dr. Jim spending an hour of his life trying to dumb this stuff down to an OCD patient who cries. Every. Dang. Time.
So yeah, standard of care for an ER+ and PR+ pre-menopausal breast cancer patient with Taxane resistance (which is the category I am now a member) is to ride the Tamoxifen train for 10 years. So, I'm continuing on with my daily pill popping for at least the next month when I will then have another visit with Dr. Jim for my official 6 month survivor booby feeling party. Maybe I'll wear a nipple tassle for the appointment and really surprise poor Dr. Jim. Haha. Kidding. Kidding. I'll save that for my 1 year.
Be yourself. Even if IT'S PAT :)
Win the Day!
Jenn
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