Happy birthday...to ME!

Besties Maaya and Brenda treated me to a trip to the State Fair for my 33rd bday this year. We had a great time. I had a turkey leg, so couldn't really get much better for me. Haha. We also ate lots of chocolate and drank lots of wine :)

Austin enjoyed my free bday Starbucks treat. The cookie was as big as his head. He thought it was hilarious.

Love
Jenn

This is gonna be the best day of my liiiiife

My cousin Ber thinks Austin will definitely be the kid screaming the Christmas songs on stage in kindergarten. Better than the kid picking his nose I guess :)

Hope today is the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIIIIIIIFE!!!
Love
Jenn

Happy Happy Birthday Austin!!

Our little wild monkey turned 3 this week. It's been a tough event for me. Poor kid was trotting around town in 24 month old clothes because I just didn't want to believe he was a 3T. I finally traded out his shorts for some that aren't above the knees :) This is a really fun age. We have actual conversations about all kinds of funny things and his imagination is running wild...please only believe half of what he tells you these days! haha. He comes up with some whoppers that are pretty entertaining. Like the time I turned into a lion and chased him around and then he became a ninja turtle and we ate cupcakes. Could've happened, right?!

We had a fun weekend with friends and family and our own little family celebration on his actual birthday (with ICE CREAM!). We thank God for him every dang day. Many times a day.

Austin shared a little inspirational story with me this week about trying to climb up a ladder... he said, 'Mom, it was a challenge...but I just tried and tried again until I made it to the top! That means persevere mom. We try and try again even if it's a challenge.'

God, I love that kid. Persevere my friends. Even if it's hard. One little step up the ladder at a time. If that's not Kinchen WIN THE DANG DAY thinking, I don't know what is :)

Love
Jenn

Weirdos and, you guessed it, wine! HA!

Took a family excursion to Austin Comicon last week...supporting our dorky little sis in her interests as she supported us on our interests (wine) last week. Yes, we all even put on some form of a costume for this event. The things we will do for our fam. I am so proud of our little Aunt Boogie. She has remained her same awesome nerdy self through the transition to the dreaded middle school this year. Obviously, she is rubbing off on us because we walked around in public as grown adults in costumes without batting an eye. There are quite a few interesting characters at this event. Austin was cracking us up switching between Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and The Hulk costume all evening. haha. He was really getting into character. Bonus...I found a cocktail booth there, so I had a great time :)

Although I know Austin and I will always have a special 'Mama's Boy' bond, I have come to accept that we are venturing into special Daddy territory with Austin's new 3 year old boy interests in superheros, sports and random cartoon characters. And I'm not going to lie, I'm not feeling too devastated in having to share the responsibility of singing 'Turtles in a half-shell! Turtle Power!' at least 100 times a day with Daddy. And Jonathon LOVES it.

Had a special visit last week from Auntie Seemay! When we were leaving lunch with her one day, Austin said, 'Mom, that was fun! We are so lucky to have Aunt Seemay for our friend! Did you know that?' haha. Yup. I actually do know that. We love Auntie Seemay. Wish I could've spent more time with her. She was here on baby duty helping her brother and sister-in-law with the surprise (and very very early!) arrival of their precious healthy baby boy and I ended up with an awful cold that had me in bed for 3 days. My immune system is really ticking me off. Everyone else gets the same bug with some sniffles, but I am down for the dang count for days. The daily Tamoxifen med keeps my white counts knocked down which makes fighting off bugs a lot of work. This cold and flu season is going to be a tough one for me. Blech.

One thing I'm very thankful for is how low maintenance yall have been with all of our craziness. My bestie has flown all the way here from Seattle 4 times now and I've spent less than a couple of hours with her without any stress at all. Twice I didn't see her at all. I've flaked out on dinners and birthday parties. Canceled something at the last minute at least once a week. Whew! Love that yall are so understanding. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Wish everyone could be treated with the same consideration and compassion we have been. I think if all of us just considered that each of us is out there trying to do what's best for ourselves and families (and I think most of us are!), there would be a lot less drama in the world! I ain't got time or energy to put towards any of that. I'm still recovering from some major ass kicking that happened this last year. Thanks to each of you for your continued thoughts and prayers as our little Kinchen family gets stronger and stronger each dang day!

Love
Jenn

Thank you Jesus :)

Had an 'ALL CLEAR' mammogram on lefty this morning. This time around, I had my doctor order a 3d mammogram at St. David's Breast Center.   This is recommended for women who have a history of breast cancer, dense breast tissue, or a history of 'call backs' with traditional mammography. For these people, the little bit of extra radiation your exposed to is worth the risks.

While I was driving to the center this morning, I immediately started regretting my decision to have this advanced imaging done. Maybe I just don't even want to know if there is a problem until a little further down the road! Or maybe never! Just keep living everyday like it's the best day of my life! Not a bad way to pass the time. I've read a ton of studies that basically show that the earlier breast cancer is detected may not really prove to better prognosis, just increase time as a 'survivor.' Not going to go into details on this because it's a major downer, or not, depending on how you look at it. Trying to focus on the big WIN today which is I walked out of the center breast cancer free :)

I had the initial 3d image completed, and for those of you who have ever had a mammogram done, after the imaging, you are placed in a 'waiting lounge.' I refer to it as mammogram Purgatory. haha. My last time in this waiting lounge back in March was a big ball of suckiness. I was called back in for an ultrasound and then had a private meeting with the radiologist (when you actually have to see the radiologist during these kinds of things, it's rarely an awesome thing) who told me the stats on the tumor which indicated it was growing through chemo treatment. It was one of the worst moments of my life. When I was waiting in the waiting room this morning, I kept telling myself to just wait to cry until I got in the car! I knew I was going to cry no matter what the results were. No more tears in these damn doctors' offices (you should've seen my most recent meltdown at my allergist's office. haha!). The tech came back into the waiting room and said the radiologist wanted some more imaging done. Tears. Couldn't hold them back. Poor lady. She assured me that everything was fine, they just wanted to make sure they got views all the way back to my chest wall. They were just being extra thorough because of my history. Which, of course, I appreciate. The second round of images were reviewed, and everything was just fine.

So...these awesome results will be sent on to my surgeon and oncologist and from here we will be making some major decisions (or decide not to do a dang thing) regarding my left breast and my right breast reconstruction. Will keep you posted.

My bestie in Wisconsin sent me her view while driving last week. haha.

WIN THE DAMN DAY my friends!
Jenn

Gettin out there...

I have spent the past 3 years at home with our amazing kiddo...cannot tell you how solid Jonathon and I know feel about that decision. In those last 3 years, honestly, I have rarely ventured out of a 10 mile radius of our home, but now that I am coming out of my cancer treatment fog, I realize that the little bit of extra energy I'm gaining every day MUST be taken advantage of with any and every favorite person in our little world! I don't want to miss a dang thing. I've told you before, my assignment from Dr. Jim is to live my life as if every second is precious and limited.

Had another fun tour out in the amazing Texas Hill Country with my mom and sisters. We had the best time! I would encourage any of you out there pinching pennies to buy a 'thing' that you think might make you happier, to save your money for an 'experience' with the people you love :)

My friend, Linda, at Slowpokes is sooo fun! If you're interested, she has a deal on living social right now. Here's a link...I think the promo code savebig works through tonight to get a discount (full disclosure, if you buy one from this link, Aunt Stinky will be getting her voucher for free!). Living social deals are so cool. If you get 3 friends to buy something that you've purchased, yours is free! And then you have more friends to join you. Woohoo!

https://t.livingsocial.com/deals/1236216?ref=share-deal_pur_proc_email-copy_box-web-deals&rpi=174687652&rui=837166

PS. Aunt Boog is definitely drinking ROOT beer :)

Of course, we had my special buttery mocha coffee in the morning! This time around we had a special guest, an armadillo, join us for our quiet all girls' coffee...Also, just for a laugh...checkout the huge pile of bags I packed!! I think the amount of luggage I carry with me is a pretty good gauge for my anxiety level. Haha.

Checkout Austin's new fav, Baby Bre! Isn't she adorable?! I couldn't stop smelling her. haha.  I feel very fortunate to have all of my attention and time to give to our little guy, but every time I hold a little baby or when Austin asks about babies, it does give me a tiny punch in the gut knowing that I can't have another one of my own. Again, don't be nervous if I run off to a corner with your baby if you have one. I promise I'll bring him back when he poops or cries :)

WIN THE DAY! Spend your time and energy doing things you love with people you love! 
Jenn

Buttery chocolatey caffeinated goodness

I noticed a theme to my latest posts...wine and fun! Haha! This weekend was no exception.

Had an awesome surprise visit into town from my favorite Young girls including my bestie Apes, her youngest sister Ash and, of course, their amazing mom, Mrs. Young. These girls have always known how to have a good time. Wine or not :) My fav part of the visit was our quiet girls only coffee on the patio while the sun was rising over the lake...I love every second with our kiddo, but every once in a while, a good cup of coffee by myself (or with a group of my all time favs) is pretty darn nice too. And for those of you who know my bestie, a sunrise that she is out of bed for really is a special occasion. Haha. Homegirl could sleep through a hurricane. No, really, she slept through a hurricane in Destin during spring break our freshman year of college! Haha.

I'm sure you've heard all of the hype about butter coffee lately (p.s. this guy is all about talking up his own products, some of which I think are worth it, some I'm not so sure. Either way, his products come with a hefty price tag and you can get a version of most of it without his name on it in a healthy grocery store).

While I'm not a huge advocate for getting all of your daily calories through drinking a cup of fat (I think you should eat food with fat too! haha) and you definitely can overdo it with too much healthy fats, if you're a person like me who's always done low fat, fake sugars, processed food crappy kind of eating to stay thin and healthy (wow, that worked out well for me, didn't it?!)...eating some good quality REAL food (including fat!) has really done my body good. Well, I've actually gained 15 pounds since I started raditaion. haha. But that can't be attributed to my yummy fatty coffee. I was drinking it when I lost 20 lbs before treatment too! I think it's a mix of the stress my body went through with chemo (stress makes your body hold on to fat) and my whacky menopausal hormones. Either way, trying to just eat to heal. Eat when I'm hungry. Just don't be afraid to eat (REAL food!)!!

I have an awesome recipe for the yummiest, healthiest coffee that I look forward to drinking every morning. Adapted from my fav Paleo food trailer Picnik...their mocha chocolatte is muy bueno baby! Although, now that I've told you I've gained 15 lbs, I'm not sure how many of you will still be into it...

Coffee
1 Tbsp raw Cacao powder
1/2 Tbsp raw Cacao butter
1/2 tbsp grass fed unsalted Butter (with a capital B)
1 Tbsp Upgraded MCT oil
2 scoops Collagen
Little bit of local raw honey 

Blend it with an immersion blender and it's the most delicious frothy cup of fatty caffeinated yumminess ever. Please don't forget to blend, or you'll have a lumpy oil slicked coffee. blech!

Changing gears...for whatever reason, a scene like this does not ruffle my feathers. Like very rarely at all do I get anxious or upset when I have a screaming toddler throwing a fit. Even in public. Austin will probably see this one day and think that he has the meanest mommy ever. I just keep moving on with our day. Thankfully, my strength is up and can carry him right on out of places when needed! Whew! I always think, you can't scare me dude, I've been fighting cancer for the last year. This little fit is seriously the least of my worries. haha.

Checkout my chemo curls coming in!! Hilarious awkward hair is definitely on my horizon for the next few months

And if it's not my kid screaming, as long as no one's hurt, I seriously do not even hear other childrens' sounds. Loud yelling kids, crying, tantrums...just a day in the life. Everyone has their own threshold for things on any given day.

BUT

My anxiety right now is THROUGH. THE. ROOF. Ugh. I can't pinpoint any one thing that is triggering my panic. I think it's post traumatic stress from the last year. Well, really, it's all still going on! This has been one wild ride for sure.

One thing I think that is in the back of my mind is the upcoming Breast Cancer Awareness month in October. Not only the studies and stories get to me, but just the reflection back on what was going on in our lives exactly one year ago. I'm headed in next week for the dreaded mammogram (last year, I had one on my actual birthday, so 33 is already looking up!). Will keep you posted on what steps we will be taking regarding surgery options from there...

In the meantime, we are getting out there, enjoying the weather, friends and family. Been walking (I gave up the running for a while. My ankle is thanking me!) to help with stress relief. Checkout our silly guy cruising along with the biggest smile ever (not sure where that big mouth came from?). ha!

If we all wore those Mickey hats with ears around, the world would be a much happier place. haha. They are hilarious. Can't help but smile when he puts it on so seriously.

Love
Jenn