Thank you Jesus :)

Had an 'ALL CLEAR' mammogram on lefty this morning. This time around, I had my doctor order a 3d mammogram at St. David's Breast Center.   This is recommended for women who have a history of breast cancer, dense breast tissue, or a history of 'call backs' with traditional mammography. For these people, the little bit of extra radiation your exposed to is worth the risks.

While I was driving to the center this morning, I immediately started regretting my decision to have this advanced imaging done. Maybe I just don't even want to know if there is a problem until a little further down the road! Or maybe never! Just keep living everyday like it's the best day of my life! Not a bad way to pass the time. I've read a ton of studies that basically show that the earlier breast cancer is detected may not really prove to better prognosis, just increase time as a 'survivor.' Not going to go into details on this because it's a major downer, or not, depending on how you look at it. Trying to focus on the big WIN today which is I walked out of the center breast cancer free :)

I had the initial 3d image completed, and for those of you who have ever had a mammogram done, after the imaging, you are placed in a 'waiting lounge.' I refer to it as mammogram Purgatory. haha. My last time in this waiting lounge back in March was a big ball of suckiness. I was called back in for an ultrasound and then had a private meeting with the radiologist (when you actually have to see the radiologist during these kinds of things, it's rarely an awesome thing) who told me the stats on the tumor which indicated it was growing through chemo treatment. It was one of the worst moments of my life. When I was waiting in the waiting room this morning, I kept telling myself to just wait to cry until I got in the car! I knew I was going to cry no matter what the results were. No more tears in these damn doctors' offices (you should've seen my most recent meltdown at my allergist's office. haha!). The tech came back into the waiting room and said the radiologist wanted some more imaging done. Tears. Couldn't hold them back. Poor lady. She assured me that everything was fine, they just wanted to make sure they got views all the way back to my chest wall. They were just being extra thorough because of my history. Which, of course, I appreciate. The second round of images were reviewed, and everything was just fine.

So...these awesome results will be sent on to my surgeon and oncologist and from here we will be making some major decisions (or decide not to do a dang thing) regarding my left breast and my right breast reconstruction. Will keep you posted.

My bestie in Wisconsin sent me her view while driving last week. haha.

WIN THE DAMN DAY my friends!
Jenn

Gettin out there...

I have spent the past 3 years at home with our amazing kiddo...cannot tell you how solid Jonathon and I know feel about that decision. In those last 3 years, honestly, I have rarely ventured out of a 10 mile radius of our home, but now that I am coming out of my cancer treatment fog, I realize that the little bit of extra energy I'm gaining every day MUST be taken advantage of with any and every favorite person in our little world! I don't want to miss a dang thing. I've told you before, my assignment from Dr. Jim is to live my life as if every second is precious and limited.

Had another fun tour out in the amazing Texas Hill Country with my mom and sisters. We had the best time! I would encourage any of you out there pinching pennies to buy a 'thing' that you think might make you happier, to save your money for an 'experience' with the people you love :)

My friend, Linda, at Slowpokes is sooo fun! If you're interested, she has a deal on living social right now. Here's a link...I think the promo code savebig works through tonight to get a discount (full disclosure, if you buy one from this link, Aunt Stinky will be getting her voucher for free!). Living social deals are so cool. If you get 3 friends to buy something that you've purchased, yours is free! And then you have more friends to join you. Woohoo!

https://t.livingsocial.com/deals/1236216?ref=share-deal_pur_proc_email-copy_box-web-deals&rpi=174687652&rui=837166

PS. Aunt Boog is definitely drinking ROOT beer :)

Of course, we had my special buttery mocha coffee in the morning! This time around we had a special guest, an armadillo, join us for our quiet all girls' coffee...Also, just for a laugh...checkout the huge pile of bags I packed!! I think the amount of luggage I carry with me is a pretty good gauge for my anxiety level. Haha.

Checkout Austin's new fav, Baby Bre! Isn't she adorable?! I couldn't stop smelling her. haha.  I feel very fortunate to have all of my attention and time to give to our little guy, but every time I hold a little baby or when Austin asks about babies, it does give me a tiny punch in the gut knowing that I can't have another one of my own. Again, don't be nervous if I run off to a corner with your baby if you have one. I promise I'll bring him back when he poops or cries :)

WIN THE DAY! Spend your time and energy doing things you love with people you love! 
Jenn

Buttery chocolatey caffeinated goodness

I noticed a theme to my latest posts...wine and fun! Haha! This weekend was no exception.

Had an awesome surprise visit into town from my favorite Young girls including my bestie Apes, her youngest sister Ash and, of course, their amazing mom, Mrs. Young. These girls have always known how to have a good time. Wine or not :) My fav part of the visit was our quiet girls only coffee on the patio while the sun was rising over the lake...I love every second with our kiddo, but every once in a while, a good cup of coffee by myself (or with a group of my all time favs) is pretty darn nice too. And for those of you who know my bestie, a sunrise that she is out of bed for really is a special occasion. Haha. Homegirl could sleep through a hurricane. No, really, she slept through a hurricane in Destin during spring break our freshman year of college! Haha.

I'm sure you've heard all of the hype about butter coffee lately (p.s. this guy is all about talking up his own products, some of which I think are worth it, some I'm not so sure. Either way, his products come with a hefty price tag and you can get a version of most of it without his name on it in a healthy grocery store).

While I'm not a huge advocate for getting all of your daily calories through drinking a cup of fat (I think you should eat food with fat too! haha) and you definitely can overdo it with too much healthy fats, if you're a person like me who's always done low fat, fake sugars, processed food crappy kind of eating to stay thin and healthy (wow, that worked out well for me, didn't it?!)...eating some good quality REAL food (including fat!) has really done my body good. Well, I've actually gained 15 pounds since I started raditaion. haha. But that can't be attributed to my yummy fatty coffee. I was drinking it when I lost 20 lbs before treatment too! I think it's a mix of the stress my body went through with chemo (stress makes your body hold on to fat) and my whacky menopausal hormones. Either way, trying to just eat to heal. Eat when I'm hungry. Just don't be afraid to eat (REAL food!)!!

I have an awesome recipe for the yummiest, healthiest coffee that I look forward to drinking every morning. Adapted from my fav Paleo food trailer Picnik...their mocha chocolatte is muy bueno baby! Although, now that I've told you I've gained 15 lbs, I'm not sure how many of you will still be into it...

Coffee
1 Tbsp raw Cacao powder
1/2 Tbsp raw Cacao butter
1/2 tbsp grass fed unsalted Butter (with a capital B)
1 Tbsp Upgraded MCT oil
2 scoops Collagen
Little bit of local raw honey 

Blend it with an immersion blender and it's the most delicious frothy cup of fatty caffeinated yumminess ever. Please don't forget to blend, or you'll have a lumpy oil slicked coffee. blech!

Changing gears...for whatever reason, a scene like this does not ruffle my feathers. Like very rarely at all do I get anxious or upset when I have a screaming toddler throwing a fit. Even in public. Austin will probably see this one day and think that he has the meanest mommy ever. I just keep moving on with our day. Thankfully, my strength is up and can carry him right on out of places when needed! Whew! I always think, you can't scare me dude, I've been fighting cancer for the last year. This little fit is seriously the least of my worries. haha.

Checkout my chemo curls coming in!! Hilarious awkward hair is definitely on my horizon for the next few months

And if it's not my kid screaming, as long as no one's hurt, I seriously do not even hear other childrens' sounds. Loud yelling kids, crying, tantrums...just a day in the life. Everyone has their own threshold for things on any given day.

BUT

My anxiety right now is THROUGH. THE. ROOF. Ugh. I can't pinpoint any one thing that is triggering my panic. I think it's post traumatic stress from the last year. Well, really, it's all still going on! This has been one wild ride for sure.

One thing I think that is in the back of my mind is the upcoming Breast Cancer Awareness month in October. Not only the studies and stories get to me, but just the reflection back on what was going on in our lives exactly one year ago. I'm headed in next week for the dreaded mammogram (last year, I had one on my actual birthday, so 33 is already looking up!). Will keep you posted on what steps we will be taking regarding surgery options from there...

In the meantime, we are getting out there, enjoying the weather, friends and family. Been walking (I gave up the running for a while. My ankle is thanking me!) to help with stress relief. Checkout our silly guy cruising along with the biggest smile ever (not sure where that big mouth came from?). ha!

If we all wore those Mickey hats with ears around, the world would be a much happier place. haha. They are hilarious. Can't help but smile when he puts it on so seriously.

Love
Jenn

Fun fun fun!

Had another fun visit from wild and crazy PaPa Payday. He is Austin's best bud. Austin didn't want to get out of his crib this morning because he was trying to stall PaPa from leaving. Haha. They have so much fun together. My dad is such a big kid. Here are some pics from our walk thru the new Austin Boardwalk on Town Lake last week.

Photo booths are another thing that will bring out the big kid in some of us too...had a great time this year again at the Vine to Wine fundraiser for Texas Parent to Parent.  Auntie Maaya and Kristin joined me and my bestie, B, this year. We had a blast...and let's just say we monopolized the silent auction tables...Jonathon had to pop the trunk to haul all of my goods home! haha. It's for a good cause. You can read more about the organization http://www.txp2p.org/index.html

Looking forward to a break in the rainy days and a bit of cooler weather headed our way here soon!
Love
Jenn

We were just having too much fun!

So many of you who were able to join us at our Win the Day party said the same thing...we were having so much fun, we forgot to take pictures! haha. Of course, most of our mom and dad friends shared a few with us. Moms and dads with little ones are good about that kind of thing (and of course, my girl K always busts out her camera and makes us pose whenever we are together). You would never be able to tell by our pics how many of yall were there! None of our party bus riding, corn hole playing beer drinking buds are rep'd here...among so many more folks! We tipped the scales around 150 awesome people (and little people!). Thanks again to everyone who came out to celebrate the day with our family and to those of you there with us in spirit. Next year we will have to add a photographer to the pay roll!

I'm one of THOSE people!

I think I'm probably one of the most annoying people to hang out with right now. I just can't stop thinking how dang lucky I am to have this day.

I've shared with you before that our kid hears and repeats everything. Which is scary. And hilarious. But is sometimes a great reminder of what to focus on when we are around him. He walked outside with me yesterday and said, 'Mom, it's going to be a beautiful sunny day!' haha. Maybe I need to focus on something that other 2 year olds care about so he has some better playground conversation starters. heehee. 

My poor bestie, B, had to withstand my constant gratefulness on a little romantic private wine tour we took last week! haha. I kept saying 'ooooh look at that!' B would say, 'what?' and I would say something annoyingly cheesy like 'the clouds!' or 'that house on the hill!' or 'the leaves on the trees!' haha. Poor B. She just wanted to ride around, be silly and drink some wine. She did allow me to say THANK YOU GOD at least 25 times before she asked me to tone it down just a little. haha.

P.S. If you're looking to checkout the sweet town of Wimberley, TX (bonus...you can walk around the streets with a glass of wine there!), call my friend Linda at Slowpokes! They are AWESOME!
http://www.slowpokeswinerytours.com/

Love
Jenn

Celebrate!!!

I have never in my life been able to get on a mic in front of a group of people and spill my guts about how I feel without becoming a blubbering ugly crying mess. Doesn't matter what the topic of the speech is about, if it calls for me digging deep and telling you how I feel about someone, I just cry whether I'm happy or sad or whatever (p.s. there are many awesome wedding speech videos of me out there to prove this! haha). Of course, Jonathon is the opposite. He loves him a microphone and a group of people. But even he, the fearless speech giving jokester who has cracked up crowds of hundreds of people at countless events and football banquets couldn't get through this one without a little choking up. So no way was I equipped.

Our Win the Day party was no exception. When I was planning the party, I had all of these reasons for why I wanted to get all of our peeps together. Sentiments about all of you that I wanted to express. Things I wish I could get out of my mouth without totally falling apart, but it just ain't happening anytime soon. I'm going to need a lot more therapy for that goal to be reached. If I would have tried to get on that mic, yall would have been in tears too just hoping for it to be over. haha. I couldn't even get out our little preschool prayer to open up the buffet without my eyes watering and lip starting to shake!! I really just am feeling so affected by how many freaking cool people we have in our lives.

So...if I could, here's some of what I would say (p.s. I'm already tearing up! hahaha. seriously?? Just the thought of the thoughts I want to share with you are totally overwhelming to me).

For me this party was not just about the last year of craziness that we have gone through. It was definitely not about being through with cancer treatment. Although, we are celebrating a major milestone, and we are definitely allowing ourselves to celebrate this big one, we are still battling on for wins each day and who knows what could be around the corner for us. It was not about pointing out the few people who put their lives on hold and have done some selfless things to get the Kinchens through a rough patch (those are the same people who have been there for every obstacle and celebration in my life throughout my whole life and me for theirs' and it's just a given that we ain't leaving each others' sides no matter what. We are stuck together. That's what family is for. Sucks that they got the daughter/sister with cancer, but it doesn't matter what the 'thing' is that we need each other for, we are just going to do it. I don't think a single one of us views it as a choice).

It's about this very second, taking it, surrounding ourselves with those we love and celebrating the dang day.

You were not put on our path by accident and you were not invited to celebrate this very moment by accident. There is a plan. Each of you are a part of that plan. We thank God that you are part of our plan. Seriously. You reading this right now, no matter how little you think you have done for us or small of a role you have played in our lives, we are truly grateful for you. This past year, there has not been an act too small that has not helped to carry us through some tough challenges. And the acts that we have received where nothing short of amazing. If you gave any second of your day to thinking or praying about our little old family, we are thankful. The most important thing that I have learned this year is that our seconds/minutes/hours are precious. There is a limit on those babies! Don't waste them. What you do and who you choose to do it with is all that you have. Those are the choices that can make or break a big WIN. And right now, the Kinchen family is feeling pretty damn blessed that we can celebrate this very second right here right now with you and your families.

We sincerely appreciate all of our old friends, new friends and family (who's stuck with us whether they want to be or not!) for making the trip this weekend to celebrate the gift of the day. We had the best time. Austin woke up Monday morning and wanted to go back to his party. haha. I hope that each of you gets to have the feeling when you look around a room and can say that every stinking person around you is your most favorite awesome person! Dang, we have some amazing people in our lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you God for our many many blessings.

Whatever you choose to do today or who you choose to do it with,
WIN THE DAMN DAY FRIENDS.

We love you and thank God for YOU.
Jenn

P.S. Some of you have shared some hilarious pictures from this weekend. Send them to me if you get a chance! I'll post later this week :)