Amazing weekend and GOODBYE Taxol

I was pretty beat through the week this week, but was determined to enjoy the amazing weekend, so I pulled myself together (even a little eyeliner and mascara on my thinning eyelashes!) and headed out to a few short and sweet celebrations I was lucky to be a part of for some of my very best friends...congrats Apes and sweet patient Shelley on checking some much needed wedding planning off the list (now if I could only get her to go ahead and find me a bridesmaid's dress, I would be set...excited though that I can skip hair do planning! haha), happy 4th anniversary of my bestie Brenda's 29th birthday, Gina looked amazing in every single dang wedding dress she put on her tiny little body, and sooo excited for Jenn's newest family addition, Baby Bre! So many things to CELEBRATE and so many people to be thankful for in our lives!! Woohoo! I was feeling kind of tired and a little achey, but nothing was going to stop me from seeing my girls. Best medicine :)

One of my very favorite things to do is to spend time outside in our awesome city with our kiddo. Outside stuff is also great because I can avoid crowds of people and extra exposure to icky germs. Saturday and Sunday were both perfect days and I took advantage of having some energy to GET OUT AND PLAY!!

We made another attempt to visit the new Austin Aquarium...a total bust. The only reason we went back was because I have a season pass from our first visit in December. Don't rec it at all to my Austinite friends. All of the animals Austin wanted to see were pulled from their displays for maintenance. They've been under scrutiny for animal abuse and are attempting to rectify some of the charges, but honestly, even with those animals back on display, still not that much to do there. We spent more time on the bench eating a snack watching other kids run around from tank to tank. That's how my kid likes to roll. I was glad because I was feeling pretty tired that morning. It was an ambitious idea in the first place. Worked out awesome for both of us :)

Austin told me 'snacks were better than the bird cage.' He's pretty much right on the money :) I had thoughts of catching some weird strain of bird flu, so I was glad he didn't want to go in there. haha.

We also spent hours at the park Sunday morning getting into sticks and mud and chasing squirrels. So fun. The weather was beautiful. One of those amazing kind of days that we are lucky to have here in Austin right in the dead of winter. Found myself just smiling watching my kid play rough and tumbly around in the mud and running around like a wild looney toon. Sooo thankful for the day (and how cute is Austin's hat?! He calls it his horsey hat. haha).

Couldn't wait for Austin to get up from nap so we could hit up a patio and another playground for dinner Sunday night...topped off with an extra special trip to Lick ice cream shop. Austin's favorite is dark chocolate with olive oil and sea salt. Yummm. He wouldn't take his spoon out to 'cheese' for any pics. haha.

Sooo...now on to the Taxol update from today...

I've shared quite a bit about the inner control freak that I'm constantly working to chill the heck out, but when I'm anxious, I get kicked into overdrive. There's not much about this cancer business that I am in control of and I've been working on trusting God, my body and my doctor, but one thing I can do is pack a damn good snack bag for the infusion room. I made Chanel carry this huge cooler around all morning to my appointments. haha. Just give me a little bit of a break on this one...8 hours of food and drink necessary...for 2 people!! Not too shabby in my opinion. It really brings me back to my bag packing for the hospital when I was pregnant with Austin. I think J begged my doctor to induce me for fear that he would have to haul more luggage to the hospital when it was 'go time!' if I had any more time to sit and think of more things I might need just in case...

Top is chemo bags, bottom is baby bags. I know...out of control!

 Went in for my 6th infusion today. Had an appointment with Dr. Jim:
1. My reaction to the the first and second attempt of Taxol treatment #5 were expected and the 2nd attempt was promising in his eyes that I would be totally fine and reaction free for #6 treatment today. He assured me that we would follow the same plan from last week we did for my successful infusion. Extra meds, go super slow and stop it immediately with any changes I notice.
2. If I did have an unexpected reaction, although scary for me, was not untreatable. I responded well to stopping the drip, adding preventative medication and time quickly resolved the symptoms.
4. There is a plan in place for a different drug if something were to happen. Either way, I will receive the same dosage of the same drug, just in a different package!
5. Always one to focus on the really important things, while Dr. Jim was examining my heart, breast and armpits which are always my most anxious parts of appointments (like armpit dripping sweat nervous), he asked me if my eyebrows were thinner than last time he saw me. Why yes they are Dr. Jim, thanks for noticing. So attentive that Dr. Jim. He didn't comment on my dry skin though because I lubed my face up extra greasy for my visit with him. Was hoping to get a gold star in the moisturizing department or another 'congratulations, your tumor is gone,' but apparently, hairloss was the pop quiz for the day. Dangit.

So, counts were good. My white blood counts are low, but not too low for treatment. Just need to be careful to avoid sick people and large crowds. Dr. Jim sent me off for Taxol infusion #6.

Started my #6 infusion with some lovely Benedryl, pepcid and steroids. Went on to a very slow drip of Taxol. Not too far into it, you guessed it, chest tightening and heart palpitations. I tried to give myself a little wait time before getting Chanel to get the nurse to make sure it wasn't just anxiety. Nope, it was the real deal. Same reaction that I had last time. The nurse came over, shut off my drip, took vitals and monitored me for a while. It was scary, but not as scary as last time because I knew what the feeling was and I knew that there was a plan that worked to alleviate the discomfort. Symptoms stopped pretty quickly, but my pulse took a while to come down! haha. I sit normally at a cool as a cucumber rate of 90 beats per minute (which is on the highest end of normal), so when my pulse goes up, people really freak out. Got pretty high. And seeing people freak out about it and talking about my reaction wasn't  helping me to be successful use my meditative chill out breathing strategies. Some of it wasn't controllable, it was a reaction to the drug. Some was stress. Probably a lot of stress. haha. Either way, I'm ok now...might be at a 99...the very highest of the normal range :)

As soon as I was stable, my awesome chemo nurse marched over to Dr. Jim's office and told him
'Abraxane or BUST Buddy.'
She wasn't going for a ride on the Taxol train with me again and encouraged me to stay off those tracks for good too. Gave it my best shot. It's not for me. She moved the unused leftover bag of Taxol as far away from me as possible and told me not even to look at it again :)

So, no more of this old school Taxol for me. Dr. Jim has submitted all the necessary paperwork to my insurance to get me a new drug Abraxane. We should now have all of the info they need to prove that this is the best treatment option for me. This drug is basically the same drug I've been taking, but for people who have allergic reactions to Taxol, is preferred because it doesn't have the same binding agent (castor oil...which is super cheap!) that causes the reactions. There are also lots of other pluses for the new drug, but I won't go into details. No need to overthink it, it's our next step in this journey. We will wait for insurances response. The cost difference is huge. I'm going from a $500 drug to upwards of $5000 per dose...maybe more! So, provoking me to almost stop breathing twice is what the physical costs were to get to the good stuff. So frustrating. But that part's done...moving on...
No idea what the time line will be on that or when I will have my first treatment. Will keep you posted...

So now here I am again, pumped up on steroids and knocked down with Benedryl...in combo with chemo hot flashes...my body is so confused...I'm a big mess! Headed to try and relax in bed and hit the hay early tonight.

Thankful for each of your thoughts and prayers.
Love
Jenn