I'm really not that brave...

People tell me all the time...'You're sooo brave...how do you do it...you're such a strong person...' Lots of really nice things that elude to some special superpowers I must have to live a day in my life. I'm here to tell you, it's not true. I'm just as brave and strong as any one of you are and if I have an extra boost, it's only from the amazing people that have surrounded me and prayed for us (some of you, know who you are, had been hiding in the woodwork for a while and came back out right when I needed you the most. Thank you, thank you). 

And I also have to throw this out there...just because you have cancer or go through cancer treatment doesn't make you more of a special or nice person. There are just as many assholes walking around this infusion room as there are at the gas station. Seriously. I might be one of them, who knows. I'm too tired to be too much of an asshole, but I can give someone the business when I need to show them who's boss. Now that was the steroids talking. Next I'll be sending you a video of Austin singing a song about assholes with cancer. haha. 

I'm here in the lounge gearing up for my very last A/C treatment. I'm dreading it. I'm really not that brave and strong. I promise. What else would I do? Not get the treatment? Sit in a corner and cry? Run away to a tropical island? (that doesn't sound that bad, and I might have sat in a few corners and cried in the last 6 months too). This is the hand I was dealt. I'm just going with it. My attitudes and behaviors are mine, but no more worthy than any of you going through your daily trials and tribulations.

Soooo....I will keep you posted on radiation starting in a couple of weeks and there are also still things in the works for me regarding maintenance drugs and drug trials at the breast cancer center. For now, I'm winning the dang day by not unplugging myself from this IV and running away to a tropical island (I know of a really special island in Nebraska that sounds like a pretty nice place to be right now too!)

LOVE YOU (brave or not, asshole or not)
Jenn